Surviving a Sociopath Narcissist – Thank God

After almost dying in a horrible “I cant believe you are alive”type of accident, going through about 50 breakdowns with the same man, and even thinking about committing suicide – dead on- for over 2 weeks straight, having my self esteem and mental and emotional sanity robbed from me and having to find my way back to MYSELF AND MY LIGHT… Having to literally rebuild myself – I’m back. Anddd… let me tell you, its been a hell of a ride. (And im not even done rebuilding myself, Thats what me coming back is about)

I was just gaslighted for about two months by the person the title is about into thinking I was difficult, crazy, and had a problem that was out of control – I drink a lot (because I knew he was someone trying to fuck me over with his actions – but somehow he always blamed it on ME and would get more thruthful about how I felt he wss playing me after a feww drinks ) just to be told today he transferred me to one of the worst locations for work because he wanted to manipulate things so his new boo wouldnt get fired, because she -as usual – wasnt meeting her goals….

Oh, and I might just add I am having my first beer since Feb 27… because I had honestly gotten to believe it and even signed into therapy *cough cough*….. Yet, this is my therapy.

Obviously you can tell I am caring very little about grammar in this post. even though its my “comeback”. because im upset, im tired, my spirit is tired, its confused, im a lot of things.. But I am not and never will be is a quitter, and this comeback is about me coming back to my haven where I can organize my thoughts and hopefully HELP others that might find themsleves stuck in a situation like this, ever.. And, obviously just let it out.

XOXO.

Ganas de Amarte

Se acerco a mi lentamente sin quitarme la picara mirada de encima, preparandose para cazar. Le sonrei con los ojos, mientras lo miraba fijamente, pues se que el nunca se imaginaria cuanto lo he llegado a desear. Con cada mirada crece mas y mas esa ardiente pasion que emana de lo mas profundo de mi ser  Sin saberlo me eleva al cielo, sin ponerme un dedo encima me embriaga de placer.si tan solo una noche pudiera estar en sus brazos saciaria esta sed  de ser amada por mi amado,                                                                                            oh si el me amara ! hasta el cansancio cuan feliz seria.

The Loveliest Rendezvous

letitmarinate

Found refugee in his arms in my darkest nights.
The light at the end of the tunnel,
His breathtakingly gorgeous smile
That brings a shiver up my spine
Every… single… time…

Oh, he whispers lullabies in my ears,
My source of motivation.
He’s led me to salvation;
My source of Inspiration.

He’s got a set of angel eyes
That burn right through me.
Yet, I’ve been good at hiding
I’d surrender to him…

 

painting by Cory Jayde