Letter to Myself… (#2)

Hormonal mess,

What are you doing to yourself, Carrying with the burden of the unimportant? What are you thinking every time your eyes water, your smile fades, and your cheeks greet your salty tears?
Why do you do this to yourself?
It’s like you are tormenting yourself trying not to be happy.
Like you want to believe you know better, that life is never perfect, and you’d rather see it for what it is than to be fooled into being hurt and having to try and find yourself, all over again. Like you’re not good enough to have real love. That somehow your eyes have been blinded by the illusion of love, but you fight it, fight it with a mist of lashing waves, crashing against your eyelashes. 
But, he loves you. For the last 365 days, he has loved you. He’s devoted himself entirely to you. He is even cooking you dinner while you are sitting here on his bed, typing this post into his computer with your eyes still blurry from crying. And you’ve been crying most of the day, while he’s been patient, knowing to know better around this time of the month. Loving you regardless. No matter what has happened and who he might have flirted with, his heart is now yours, and he craves nothing but your acceptance and love. She really doesn’t matter. At all. 
And you are his all. This is not an illusion. He has proven to you you truly are his all, at least while the love between you two lasts. 
So smile, and go have dinner. You’re starving.

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