HE told me he’d read it. That’s how it started. I’m not sure if it was a matter of making sure I still sort of loved him, or just another way to get a hold of my emotions, but there it was: a question, asking me to share with him the most intimate part of me – My An Open Soul blog, The WordPress version.
Of course, I shared. Knowingly accepting that I would now have to Him-proof everything I wrote, drafted, reviewed and shared. But, I didn’t want to, I didn’t wanna have to. This was my place, where I could read without him trying to read in between the lines, trying to figure out what everything about us (or simply EVERYTHING) meant. When we met I shared my Blogger blog on my Facebook page, so many people visited and he was one of them, and I had shared the link once the WordPress blog was started (which is WAY MORE personal), but I won’t say I was unhappy when he stopped visiting/reading.
I don’t want him to read me. I don’t want him to assume. I don’t want him to know.
So slowly, doomed into this new way of blogging I wasn’t fond of, It stopped happening for me. The inspiration, the rush of adrenaline as I hit “Publish”… It just all came one to one thought: He’ll be reading. So I stopped. I sat back. I let the idea dissipate.
He never mentioned it.
So I’m back