My passions are messing with my head.

I have so many passions.

Ever since I can remember I have written. As a child, I remember filling notebooks and notebooks of what I called “novels“. I would make up stories, I would document things; I would just write and write.  I remember the stack of notebooks in my room and how sad I was when my mom couldn’t stand the mess anymore and just threw them all away. I wrote my first poem when my great-grandmother died. I was like seven. It was four pages long. when my mother read it she was shocked and held on to it until you couldn’t read anything anymore. I remember always having a notebook at hand, either a normal one or a sketch notebook, in which I would just draw sketches of clothing, shoes, and even hairdos (yes, hair styles hahaha) I remember all the little dolls I drew and all the little clothes I made up, filling each page with like 20 different items. Drawing mermaids all over the place. I remember feeling happy. I was a kid. Oh, I also love makeup. Like, a LOT!

Now, nineteen going into twenty I find myself feeling…confused. What should I do with my life? What is my true passion? Where should I go? … I started college at seventeen, and even though my dream job was to be a plastic surgeon, somehow the time seemed too much for me and a I changed four months before applying to the university to International Business. Now, don’t get me wrong. I love business. I love being competitive, and I love coming up with strategies and it fills me in a way, but being filled in one way is not happiness. Within the passing years I have realized I have a growing passion for Fashion and makeup, I started messing around with makeup since age thirteen, and whenever I look at an editorial picture or celebrity, that’s the first thing I notice. Regarding fashion, I have started to sketch my own designs and watch fashion shows non-religiously and read and read on fashion and follow over 30 fashion/beauty blogs on Bloglovin’ (not that I ever read them all). But, I love it. Would I dare to put my life on it and base my life around it? I don’t think I’m courageous enough.

I also want to be a writer, Oh so bad. It’s always been a dream of mine to have a published book, but it’s also been a dream of mine to have my own makeup line, and now I would love to have my own clothing line. Ugh, life is so hard when it comes to choosing who you’re going to be for the rest of your life. I guess I’ll do my best at trying to juggle everything, and slowly start dropping things when I realize -by practice- that you can’t do too many things at once and excel at them all.

Which will bring me back to my original dilemma: Which one do I hold on the strongest to?

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