Filters Off…

I miss you.

It hits me like waves and floods every part of me, pushing past my comfort zone. I wonder if it will stop soon enough. It comes and goes, it burns and floods, it angers and destroys.. But there it is… It comes when I least expect it, interrupting my perfect act of someone who’s perfectly moving on, erasing my smiles.. making me wish you were mine. And I go back to the start.

I wish I did not miss you. I wish the last two years were so easy to forget. But then  again, I don’t. Because I don’t want our story to be a sad, harsh yesterday. We loved, we laughed, we cried, we grew, we tried, we parted.. But I still love you like yesterday, even though I chose to go my separate way. And maybe that is what is holding me back to every memory of you, and why sometimes the simplest things brings back memories of you.  I walked away from someone I love, positive the wrong decision was to not do so.

I just wanted simple things. I just wanted simple love. I just wanted a relationship without all that control, such a sorrow to be in love and trapped into a prison of your own design… If only.

But sure, I miss you. I wish I did not, but I do. But I have grown strong enough to avoid the silly little fall-backs, and the tears that once came with such wave of missing you. I have grown strong enough to understand this is the best thing for ME. And, unless you ever truly change, it will forever be.

I miss you, then I remember this is what’s best, and stop.


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