Delicate

     Show me something delicate.

Delicate as the way you hold my hand

when you think he might be watching.

Delicate like the flowers

who refused to bloom this spring.

Like the lovely thought

of you and me.

Always.

If not now, When ?!

We’ve all had those days. We feel the urge, the need, the desire to do THAT something that makes us feel alive. That something that will make us feel like we are acomplishing our dream, (or one of them) …Which will change the way we feel about ourselves and which will change the dynamic of our lives, forever.

But something always comes up.

The timing is just not right. I should wait until the kids get older. Maybe I am not prepared well enough. I just – I’m not ready. I can’t do it. It won’t be any good. I should/will wait until the PERFECT time, when everything and absolutely everything is in order. I don’t know how to start. It’s difficult.  I just…. 

Yeah, I’ve been there. Just turned 20 and already limiting myself to the negative comments my diffident mind has to say. Already ruled by fear. Already setting myself for failure and utter limitation.

So to you lovely readers, and myself, I ask the following:

IF NOT NOW, WHEN?

motivation

Regardless of what many of us want to believe, there will be no magical SIGN telling you this is the right moment for you to start living your dreams and becoming who you want to become. There will be no fairy whispering into your ear to follow your dreams or no drums to announce the birth of a magnificent idea. No… NO. This is all you get. X amount of days, Air in your lungs, a thought, a burning desire, the knowledge and POWER to be great. The means to get as far as you want in life, if you simply (and literally) put your whole mind and heart to it. When you become the best you can be. When you work for it. When you understand that the best time, that time you are so desperately waiting for IS NOW.

THIS is your time to be great! This is your time to shine and accomplish all the things you want to, while you can. This is your time to make mistakes. This is your time to be courageous, brave; to reach out for what you want to. You don’t have to be young. You don’t have to limit yourself because you’ve reached a certain age. If you are breathing, you are capable of changing your train of thoughts, and therefore your life. You are capable of changing yourself.

If you think you are not good enough – don’t. People do not reach excellence by doubting themselves. They reach it by trusting themselves, by training themselves, by pushing themselves, by being the best they can possibly be.

Please get out there.

STOP DOUBTING YOURSELF. BELIEVE you ARE the person you want to be, TRUST you can get to that point in your life you want to reach. Have FAITH in your ideas, Have faith in yourself. Take it step by step. Take it week, by week. But please, start right now.

I promise you, it/you will only get better from here.

 

 

Best of luck,

-Haro

My passions are messing with my head.

I have so many passions.

Ever since I can remember I have written. As a child, I remember filling notebooks and notebooks of what I called “novels“. I would make up stories, I would document things; I would just write and write.  I remember the stack of notebooks in my room and how sad I was when my mom couldn’t stand the mess anymore and just threw them all away. I wrote my first poem when my great-grandmother died. I was like seven. It was four pages long. when my mother read it she was shocked and held on to it until you couldn’t read anything anymore. I remember always having a notebook at hand, either a normal one or a sketch notebook, in which I would just draw sketches of clothing, shoes, and even hairdos (yes, hair styles hahaha) I remember all the little dolls I drew and all the little clothes I made up, filling each page with like 20 different items. Drawing mermaids all over the place. I remember feeling happy. I was a kid. Oh, I also love makeup. Like, a LOT!

Now, nineteen going into twenty I find myself feeling…confused. What should I do with my life? What is my true passion? Where should I go? … I started college at seventeen, and even though my dream job was to be a plastic surgeon, somehow the time seemed too much for me and a I changed four months before applying to the university to International Business. Now, don’t get me wrong. I love business. I love being competitive, and I love coming up with strategies and it fills me in a way, but being filled in one way is not happiness. Within the passing years I have realized I have a growing passion for Fashion and makeup, I started messing around with makeup since age thirteen, and whenever I look at an editorial picture or celebrity, that’s the first thing I notice. Regarding fashion, I have started to sketch my own designs and watch fashion shows non-religiously and read and read on fashion and follow over 30 fashion/beauty blogs on Bloglovin’ (not that I ever read them all). But, I love it. Would I dare to put my life on it and base my life around it? I don’t think I’m courageous enough.

I also want to be a writer, Oh so bad. It’s always been a dream of mine to have a published book, but it’s also been a dream of mine to have my own makeup line, and now I would love to have my own clothing line. Ugh, life is so hard when it comes to choosing who you’re going to be for the rest of your life. I guess I’ll do my best at trying to juggle everything, and slowly start dropping things when I realize -by practice- that you can’t do too many things at once and excel at them all.

Which will bring me back to my original dilemma: Which one do I hold on the strongest to?

The Web

SURRENDER

How could I avoid getting caught up in that web of pure seduction?

The one that seduces me and draws me in into the unknown.

Teasing me slightly, owning me slowly, and over my body taking control.

Could it now possibly stop?

The aching and longing you’ve discovered.

The eagerness to learn, discover new things…

Fulfill a long-felt need.

Surrender.

Where have i been?

I’ve been stuck between reality and my piece of fantasy

Wandering off to places always unknown.

Daydreaming about some kind of hope

Trying to be alone…

 

Where Have I been?

I’ve been between my eyes

and between my trembling lips

everytime someone says your name

I’ve been inside the pandemonium 

my mind has become.

 

I’ve been trying to be alone..